“We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed.

For what matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one’s predicament into a human achievement.

When we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves.”


Strength Through Adversity. Tough people survive tough times. There are countless strong statements that embody the benefits we have as human beings from being put through hardships, moments that feel as though they could and might break us. If we are never truly tested, we will never know what we are capable of. The comfort zone never made a champion, man the list goes on. I take nothing away from these statements, I fully agree that we are molded and shaped by these moments in life.  I want to talk about using the by product of memories and moments we’d like to forget, in their purest form, as fuel.

Everyone has their demons, We’ve all lived through events in our lives we wish hadn’t taken place, some far worse than others. Now this doesn’t take away from the effect they can have on us as our experiences are truly our own; there is no qualifier for what is allowed to haunt us – we have people who have seen some of life’s worst atrocities at war and are no doubt haunted by visions most of us will never come close to comprehending. That said, with experience being such a personal thing, we don’t get to just write everything else off with the idea that it simply pales in comparison to what others have been through. Now, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t always remember this to be true, entirely off topic, but taking a moment to think of the problems we face on a daily basis, our biggest moments of regret and compare them, or even simply acknowledge the pain others have felt; let’s just say context can be a motherfucker. We must never allow ourselves to be engulfed by our struggles when we are at the bottom, because looking up makes everything seem so much further, bleaker and unreachable than the view we enjoy with hindsight and reflection.

“Facing it, always facing it, that’s the way to get through.

Face it.”


Back on it, our demons and their place as both a reminder to what you can go through, what you can survive, and their remarkable ability to become a mental fuel. Accepting the bi product of hard times and tough moments is no sign of weakness. You are not strong if you opt to simply refuse to acknowledge the scars left in a misguided view that this stoic strength means to remain emotionless and indifferent to ones memories or tribulations. To be stoic is to be able to endure, not ignore. The hard times will come. The dark days that feel like they will have no end are part of life, and the personal demons we create exist within everyone. You can be lost in your fires, or forged by them. This is exactly the same.

These are my demons.


Embrace them, make them yours. Never forget that these moments will come, where your demons will either consume you entirely and make you their own. Or, you will learn to harness them, learn to use the memories you wish you could forget, the moments you wish you could run back again and do the right thing, knowing full well that you don’t always get a second chance. Amends will not always be yours to make.

Accept it.

Sometimes what you’ve done or events that have happened cannot be re written, and running it back over and over will do nothing, unless that feeling is used. Harness it all. Sleep, food, desire, discipline, emotion, it’s all fuel. We are so damn complex, unlike the machines we make, we find our fuel everywhere, in its purest and most obscure forms. So use everything, your flaws, your regrets, your edges and your imperfections. Make your demons your fuel, you don’t belong to them, so take charge, get headstrong and stand up.

My demons stand with me.  

I am the happiness and light I hope I can share with the people around me, and anyone I have the luck of influencing for the better. I am my mistakes, my moments of victory, my past and my future.

I am my darkness.


For The Pack,

\\ Ax



Minimalistic gut check.


2 weeks in isolation in the wilderness.


A self imposed hell month in the relentless pursuit of sigr.